Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Gentlemen Prefer Cancer Patients

Now that the weather is getting warmer, I've been going out and about without my fright wig. God, I am sick of that hideous itchy old thing. But as you might imagine, baring my baldish pate in public has provoked the expected reactions amongst the populace.

Yesterday at the grocery store, I counted seven (7!!) random people who approached me for no particular reason to kindly inquire about my well-being.

"How're you doing today!" chirped the front door greeter who has studiously ignored me for the past seven years. "You doing all right?"

"Good morning!" said the guy in the produce department who has never given me a second glance, or possibly even a first glance, during his entire tenure in the grocery stocking business. "You okay today? Can I help you find anything?"

"How are you?" asked the normally hostile checker in that hushed, reverent, solicitous voice often used to convey an excessive degree of compassion and concern to occupants of the deathbed.

My first reaction was, Well shit. I would have tossed that damn wig a long time ago if I'd known people were going to be this kind to me. All the wig ever did was make me invisible. Without it, I'm suddenly the belle of all earthly solicitude.

But then I started to consider other possibilities. Yeah, it could be that everybody was suddenly making such a fuss over me because they believed I was about to keel over dead from cancer any second now. But then again perhaps the store manager had instituted a new hyper-friendliness policy that had just gone into effect. Or maybe they all thought I was a rabidly violent radical lesbian militant nazi skinhead who needed to be carefully handled with kid gloves lest I suddenly open fire with the Glock .380 I no doubt had concealed in my AA brassiere.

Or, I couldn't help but wonder, maybe, just maybe, could this be the way people always treat blondes? Well, wooo fucking hoo, then. Bring it on!

My new life as a ravishing hot sultry blonde


Blogger Jess said...

Dude, I can see your hair in a non-close up, normal sized picture. Very exciting! You look good with a little baby chicken fuzz. :)

5:37 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

Are you kidding? You look way better without the wig.

I just found your new site and am looking forward to digging through the archives. I'm very happy the chemo has gone so well. I'm sorry that your life has been so uprooted and that you are basically starting over, but I'm thrilled that you're allowing us to come along for the ride.

Nice to see you again! And good luck!

6:01 PM  
Blogger Elan Morgan said...

You wear it well, lady. I think they were just all being so nice to you because you're so hot.

7:21 PM  
Blogger aaron ambrose said...

Hi! i really enjoy your writing. I've a chronic immuno-dis-ease thing goin' on and when i was a teenager huge patches of my hair fell out and it grew back that same baby fuzz blonde..soooooo soft.
anyway...thanks for bogging....and i'm inlove with that island gig you've got! wow.

10:05 PM  
Blogger Carny Asada said...

I can see your hair from here!

This is very exciting.

You are lucky in that, when I visited my local health food store with MY bald head (and my 8-year-old), the checker asked me whether I wanted the senior discount. Um.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, I hate to tell you this, but this is not how people typically treat blondes. It's you. You look so much healthier in every way than you did even a month ago, at least in these photos. You are probably radiating personal springtime, and people do tend to respond to that.

Also, you know, so many people have lived through or are living with cancer, either personally or vicariously, that even though you do look great, a lot of people around you may have been secretly looking out for you and noticed that you seem to have come out the other side. Others who've never seen you before may think they recognize the haircut, and the regrowth. Thing is, we can't walk up to people and ask them if they have/have had cancer. If people aren't already thinking about it at that precise moment, it can really bum them out to be reminded. (And the worst bumming can be triggered by people who say things like "But you're okay now, right?" 'Cause who the hell ever knows, right?) But we are driven to be kind to one another anyway. So instead maybe when we see someone we think is going through it we find ourselves attempting sort of a secret handshake, which can translate sometimes into a big, big, extra-beamy smile and maybe even a kind solicitation after your overall welfare.

Or maybe, with the glowing complexion and the little golden aura on your scalp, people think you're holy and want to touch you in some way. Heh. Enjoy.

8:57 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

You've posted this at just the right time! A friend of mine who is starting chemo next week was shopping for hats online yesterday and couldn't bring herself to press the "add to cart" button. I'll have to let her know, since she is admittedly whiney, that going au naturel ain't so bad.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Trasi said...

Yeah, I think it's what saraarts said. Cancer is SO COMMON anymore, of some variety or another, that most of us have been touched by it and have seen the HELL you have gone through, or watched a loved-one go through it. With random bewigged people or just people with their hair, you just don't know what they have gone through at all. It'd be great if we all cut each other that much slack... but generally speaking, we don't do that. Heck, you could be standing next to an axe murderer or child rapist or abusive father in the produce department. But once it's pretty clear you've gone through cancer treatment, I think there's instant empathy. You could still be a shitty person, but there's something obvious to empathize with.
And, you're hot. Hair or not. You're one fine looking woman.

10:17 AM  
Blogger Alto2 said...

Don't you hate it when you expect crappy service from the grocery? Don't you hate it when they suddenly surprise you with decent service? That happens frequently here.

BTW, you're looking pretty healthy these days. Not sure about the blonde look, but I like those burgeoning biceps.

5:29 PM  
Blogger monicac2 said...

You look good - and that is that! :)

2:37 PM  
Blogger DADAPALOOZA said...

I agree with the above! You are looking fighty mine as a blavishing ronde, liss meroy.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This made me laugh--I hope that's OK.

It reminded me of Terms of Endearment:

"--so Patsy tells me you have cancer. We should talk. I'm a nutritionist and my husband works for Ticketron--"

Do you remember that scene?


3:52 AM  

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