Friday, July 27, 2007

Come On, Charlie Brown, Kick the Ball Again!

Oh my Dog! LOOK what just came in the morning mail:

From: Our Lady of the Damned Charity Medical Center
To: Lymphopo Pain In The Ass Squeaky Wheel

Dear Ms. Pain In The Ass Squeaky Wheel:

You (FINALLY!) have (yet ANOTHER, bwaahahaha!) appointment at the Family Medicine Clinic with Family Practice Minor Surgery on: 08/17/07 at 8:30 AM. Please bring enough food, medication, blankets, pillows, and changes of clothes to ride you through a possible (ok, PROBABLE) 874 hour wait (chump!).

If you miss this appointment it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to call the above number (where you're guaranteed to get a busy signal 24/7--sucker!) to reschedule. For your reference, please note the following: a $15 deposit is required at the time of visit; we will bill you for the remaining $24,792.37 whether or not you actually manage to see a medically trained person at this appointment.

Good luck, fucker!

Whoopeee!!! Once again, for what, the fourth time now? I get to have my hopes all raised up in eager anticipation. Shall we start a betting pool this time on whether or not the hideous port will actually come out on August 17th, or whether Lucy will once again yank the damn football right out from under me at the last minute? Come on, y'all, place your bets! Who all's in?


Blogger Marian said...

Maybe you should take Superman with you and meanwhile have him practice achieving a Game Face. Sending good mojo to you from Southeast Louisiana.

1:24 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

No turnip dust on me, so I'm not betting on that one. But I will keep fingers, toes, legs crossed on that day. I love the image of Soop in the waiting room with you, grrrowling at the staff as they leap to do your bidding! If only...

1:40 PM  
Blogger ay-em said...

Holy Hell... Here's hoping!


- am

2:17 PM  
Blogger -L said...

No betting, just rooting for you! Heck, I will even pray for you. Here goes:

Plaster Frida, patron saint of the Lymphopo shack, I come before you with a request.

Your most faithful subversively-colorful, massive-iron-pumping, dyn-o-mite dog-rescuing servant, Spinning Granny Butt Lymphopo the Great, is facing a great trial as another port removal appointment dangles tantalizingly before her.

Give her the courage to withstand the seemingly interminable wait at Our Lady of the Damned. May her trail mix and pack lunch be tasty and bottomless. May tea be abundant and soothing. May her blankets and/or pup tent in the lobby be comfortable and provide a veritable palace to Spinning Granny Butt Lymphopo the Great and whomever else wishes to join her in that forsaken waiting room. May she take a book that makes her laugh.

Yea, though she walks through the Valley of the Shadow of the Uninsured, let her fear no evil. For you, Plaster Frida, are with her. Your unibrow and your Tehuantepecan clothing, they comfort her.

Surely goodness and love will follow Spinning Granny Butt Lymphopo the Great all the days of her life, and she will dwell in the presence of the Plaster Frida forever.



2:25 PM  
Blogger Lymphopo said...

Wooo! Bravo Loorol!!

2:33 PM  
Blogger Lene Andersen said...

That's great news! Well, theoretically great news. I'll be crossing everything, including curtains, cushions and the cat. Just in case, I agree - you should bring Soop with you. Y'know, for motivating the medical staff...

2:55 PM  
Blogger Karyn said...

I say you load up your car with as many of those giant plaster Virgins as possible for good luck! Heck! Try and shove one up on (gently of course, lest I be sacreligious) the dash too! As the lady in the parking lot said ... sometimes the little plastic ones just won't cut it.

P.S. I know you may need some help for this one due to the weight of the ladies ... you also may want to check the payload of your car first :-) Hate to have the bottom drop out of the vehicle on your way to your 800+ hour wait!

Good luck!

5:14 PM  
Blogger Trasi said...

So with an 800 hour wait, we ought to hear if/how it went by Sept 21st. I'll check back. ;-)
I don't wanna jinx it by saying congratulations. I'll just hope for your sake it gets taken out. Gently. I mean, that IS your vena cava the motherf*cker is sitting in, right?

10:28 PM  
Blogger Judy Wise said...

This is beyond cruel. I wish I were a surgeon. I'd take it out for you.

12:01 AM  
Blogger debinca said...

Ok, I'll bet, I bet yes.

2:35 AM  
Blogger funambulator said...

I hope hope hope you can get it out this time! I'm glad to have mine, but I'll be even gladder to get it out when the time comes.

It's it exactly the wrong spot, and my accordion strap rubs up against it!

11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fingers crossed.

1:03 PM  

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